Tag Archives: female

The Iron Women (And Their Tender Hearts)

She lies next to me
On this bed for two
But I am the only one
Whose mind is present
While hers is caught between
The right swipes of the wrong app
And the running debt behind a frozen bank account
A husband she no longer calls one
And the daughter who has to carry too much

I wrap my arms around her
Frame frail and fragile
She did not fall into the trap of planning to fail
But her plans have failed her
And she is in a limbo of her unwise decisions
Between her mistakes and the ones of her loved ones
She easily forgives the wrongs that hurt her more

I spend time with her
And it seems like she is okay
But living in a house that is not a home
Torn between wanting to be a ‘good’ mom
Or one who could actually provide
Leaves her in a lose-lose situation
Forcing herself to swallow the unpleasant taste of guilt
When she sees her son and imagines every what if’s

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Woo Feminism Woo (Does it scare you?)

I am currently sat in a packed library in between people who are actually working productively (ex: the person next to me with library books taking up a good chunk of space on his desk) and I am not going to write much, I hope.

Feminism. A term feared by most men as it is understood as the movement of women trying to take over men’s rightful place in all possible realms but it really is not. And if you think it is, then you really are the problem because there is no ‘rightful place’ for any gender. There should not be a limit to what you can do or a limit in life you cannot fall under because of your gender.

It really is not all that daunting. Really.

And there are a few things I would like to say about feminism (at least what feminism is to me):

  • Feminism is not pushing that one girl in class forward just because you need to have some female representation or else it would not be a balance mix. Females are not an afterthought addition to anything. No one should be.
  • Feminism is about young, male refugees who are treated badly at borders because they are seen as dangerous while women and children are treated well because they are deemed weak. Why should there be a difference in treatment when both are in dire need for help?
  • Feminism is about rape cases involving female rapists that are not taken seriously because the rapist’s gender. Victims are victims all the same.
  • Feminism is not about bossy women in trousers. We do not want to be in trousers, we like our skirts and shorts and trousers and if we want to wear any of them, we can.
  • Feminism is about how lazy bums leave their dirty dishes to be washed by the female members of the house because it is their ‘duty’.
  • Feminism is when I am being told that I need to be polite because I am a women. Omg, where should I start with this, i dont know maybe, BEING POLITE IS SOMETHING EVERYONE SHOULD BE.
  • Feminism is about not degrading the choices of men just because it is not parallel to what most men do. Like deciding to be a stay-at-home dad or having a preference for rom-coms.
  • Feminism is about objecting the decisions of states resorting to military intervention every time just because they need to feed their ego of being big powers.
  • Feminism is acknowledging that male gendered roles are no greater than female ones. Doing household chores is not ‘lower’ than spending 9-5 in a gray cubicle. I am not lower than you because of my autonomous choice.
  • Feminism is not about women hating men for having different genital organs. It is not about you being male and me being female. There is absolutely nothing wrong with being either gender.
  • Feminism is about the Malaysian gymnast who made headlines, criticised for wearing a leotard but no one bats an eye at Muslim participants in body building competitions wearing nothing but underwear.
  • Feminism is about how female are told to not walk and talk the natural way we do but to act ‘rougher’ because men find it a distraction. The most absurd thing is that these are things that we cannot control. But never have you heard of women telling men to not roll their sleeves, push their hair back, to not wear suits or to shave just because we find it distracting.
  • Feminism is about how people think it is okay to sexualize men and make remarks about their body parts but be all offended when those remarks are about women.
  • Feminism matter because people keep saying no to violence towards women but neglecting violence towards men just because they could handle it.
  • Feminism is recognising that if I would like to achieve something, my gender will not be a hindrance and you will not give me that incredulous look and say ‘Really?’ or ‘You are going to go far because there are not many (insert gender) in that field.’

Uhoh, I just wrote more than I was supposed to. Sorry.

(I never meant for this to be a rant but I just cannot help it when it is something I strongly believe in, and I don’t usually have strong beliefs in anything. Please ignore how aggressive I sound, if i do. I swear I do not go around preaching to people about things I believe in. On the contrary, I never seem to be able to even share my opinions with others. I never have the guts to.)

 

 

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