If the flames of my anger were to dance, it wouldn’t be a graceful one

I am not the kind who gets pissed off easily (unless you are a guy. Guys my age piss me off most of the time i don’t even know why). But one of the things that makes me extremely mad is when I have made plans and a key player cancels, automatically ruining whatever plan I have revolved my day around.

And when I say extremely mad, I mean mad to the point where I wouldn’t even respond to any interaction, mad that I need to blast music in order for my emotions to not go on overdrive. Mad that even the sight of you makes my eyes brim with tears. I just shut everything out. That is just how I am when I am mad.

That is probably why I normally do not set goals or make plans or want something so badly. I get easily emotionally attached and I would desire things too immensely that I could not handle not getting what I want. Most of the time I either choose not to care about most things or let things go easy. It is not a built in flaw that I have, it is a precaution, almost a prevention step.

Maybe this is also the reason why I prefer living alone. People are too uncertain to bless them with the gift of ultimate trust. At least you know yourself better than to hurt the body and soul you have been assigned to care for. Because even if you decide to dissapoint yourself, being mad at yourself for long isn’t a possible option.

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